Dear Stephen:

As a junior at NIT, I’m having a hard time deciding whether I should prepare for the Postgraduate Examination or find a job immediately after I graduate. In our competitive society, many college students are not successful at finding good jobs in their first year after graduation. For this reason, continuing my studies seems to be a good choice for my future. However, I am afraid that I might not pass the Postgraduate Exam, and I am also worried that I might not be able to find a satisfying job even after I complete a postgraduate program. Further education is expensive, and I don’t want to add to my family’s economic burden. Perhaps I should find an intern position after I graduate in order to gain real-world work experience?

Could you please give me some advice on how to make good decision? I look forward to your reply and thank you in advance.

Yours,

Akili

Dear Akili,

First of all, let me say that you should be grateful that you have so many good possibilities to be worried about! From one point of view, you can’t go wrong no matter what you decide. You are thinking carefully about your future and are being diligent in trying to make the best choices. Your parents should be proud of you!

As a mental exercise, close your eyes and imagine that you are standing alone in large empty room. The room has no windows – only two doors. A sign on one door says “Further Study!” On the other one is the sign, “Get a Job!” Which door do you most want to open and walk through? What’s your ‘gut feeling’? Don’t pay attention to your heart – it’s too emotional; to make this decision, you want to have your ‘feet on the ground’. If you’re honest with yourself about your ‘gut feeling’, you’ll know which door you want to open. Then, you just have to walk through it and see what happens next.

Almost all of the things you are worried about are beyond your control. Can you control whether or not you pass the Postgraduate Examination? Can you control the job market in China? Can you control your family’s finances? No. A wise man named Marcus Aurelius once said that the only thing that one can really control is one’s attitude. You have a great attitude, Akili, so just stop worrying, okay?

My advice to you is to take life ‘one door at a time’. Eventually, you’ll find yourself standing there alone again in that large empty room; you’ll have to choose another door to walk through. Trust your ‘gut’ instinct. Your problem is that you’re over-thinking your situation – you are seeing doors within doors within doors – and it’s paralyzing you. No one can predict the future, so just relax and enjoy the ride!

Yours truly,

Stephen