Dear Andy,
After three years of bitter study in high school, I now become a freshman. I can finally say goodbye to piles of homework and big pressure. The present life is relaxing and full of sunshine. And I like it! However, I’m a little confused. Without much homework and pressure, I find that I’m a bit at loss. In college, I have fewer lessons, less pressure and much more free time. Some people say that I should study hard, while other people say that I should be active in all kinds of activities. I don’t know which side I should take. Would you please tell me how to make good use of time in college? I’m looking forward to your answer. Thank you!
Li Ting
Dear Andy,
I’m a shy girl. I always keep quiet and have no courage to express myself. After I became a freshman in NIT, I find I have some problems with my new roommates. For example, some of my roommates are fond of chatting, and they often stay up late at night, talking and laughing, which really disturbs my sleep. I want to ask them to keep quiet when it is time for sleep, but I dare not offend them. What should I say to them? How can I get on well with my roommates? Can you give me some advice? Thank you!
Cherry
Welcome to the age old problem of living with people and conflicts are a fact of life. While living in close quarters, people will undoubtedly be involved with different types of conflict like noise, disturbances betweens neighbors, cleaning issues between roommates, etc. Open communication is the most effective way to resolve these conflicts.
Being young adults and college students comes with a new set of rules, and being away from home for the first time can affect all of us differently. Some revel in the sudden freedom of not having parents watching over us, while some dearly miss the sanctity of their home. Many of you are an only child and have little knowledge of how to live in close quarters with your peers, so adjusting from your homes to a crowded dormitory may well be difficult. However you must consider the needs of your dormitory mates, and come to an agreement about life in your dormitory and establish acceptable rules. But, the application of the rules will be the most difficult thing to define as we may consider such things as the weekend different from a school night.
Problems arise from such things as what is an acceptable time for sleep, not all are happy with a bedtime of 11pm, however, consideration must be given to those who do. Talking loudly, having friends visit and playing computer games while others are studying or sleeping can be a source of conflict and can lead to an uncomfortable dormitory atmosphere. Dormitory cleanliness could also lead to problems; everyone should strive to keep their living area at an acceptable level. I know some will consider changing dormitories however, this not allows the best way to go. As you might move from the frying pan into the fire. Moving in with others may not guarantee harmony.
These are only a few of the many problems that can occur in a dormitory and the only way to resolve the issues is by open communications. I believe that at the start of the school year the rules should discussed and written down by the students and everyone must agree to follow them. But, remember there will be times that all of you will break the rules for some reason. Hopefully, that will be rare.
Your adult lives are just beginning and in both work and play you will encounter conflict. Now is the time for you to overcome your shyness and fears and show confidence. Each of you must consider the needs of your dormitory mates, learn to accept concessions, accept the weaknesses of others.
Of Confidence Eleanor Roosevelt said it this way.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face. We must do that which we think we cannot.
Andy
